Rice is Wife, Noodle is Mistress

Dear blog followers,

I've fallen into a trap: the more I do, the more I have to write about, and the more daunting this blog post becomes. Thus I have procrastinated myself to a state where I will either a frustratingly short post, outlining the bare-bones details, or write a post so long even the most dedicated reader will give up, exhausted. I'm not sure yet which approach I shall take.

Tonight I shall cover 3 main adventures:
1. Weekend in Ninh Binh, home of King Kong
2. Weekend in Phu Quoc, beachy resort island
3. Thanksgiving in Saigon

Let's have at it.

1. Ninh Binh

Ninh Binh is the ancient capital city of Vietnam, located in the northern region of the country. Ninh Binh was a stronghold for Vietnam - tucked away between stone pillars and mountains, it was difficult to find, and easy to defend. The current capital is Hanoi, some miles away; legend has it that the move was precipitated by a marriage.  One of the first kings of Vietnam died, and his widow needed to find a strong man to protect the kingdom (cue groans), and she chose the main general in the country. She remarried him, and he began the move to Hanoi, which was far less easy to defend, but much better for commerce as it was on a river and was a better environment for roads. Thus the capital was moved, and legend has it that when the caravan arrived in Hanoi, they saw a dragon flying - thus the new capital city was blessed.

I went to Ninh Binh with 2 coworkers: Vy, a Vietnam native, and Ollie, a fellow 6-month traveler from the UK. We booked a late Friday night flight to Hanoi, and were picked up by our tour company early Saturday morning.

We were greeted by a very chipper tour guide, who proceeded to greet us with personalized compliments; by the time he reached us in the back of the bus, the only female compliment left for me was that I'm "cute." Ollie, though, was told that he had a complexion "all the girls wanted" - basically, that he's a pasty office rat.  We were quite amused. Then our guide serenade us with what he called karaoke, but was in fact him singing You Are My Sunshine into a microphone without any background music at all. 

I filled the two hour ride to Ninh Binh by extracting information from Vy about the most random and morbid topics you could imagine. The topics below will likely give you pause and have you reconsider your acquaintance with me, but so be it.

First we talked about burials. In the northern, more traditional part of the country, there are 2 burial stages: in the first part, the body is buried in a coffin in a small ceremony. These graves are not elaborate, and often close to unmarked - because this isn't the final resting place, oh no no. After 3 years, the body is dug back up, the bones are cleaned off (I shudder to think about this), and the bones are reburied in a large ceremony and in a final, highly decorated grave. Legend has it that if the second stage is skipped - the bones are left unceremoniously in the coffin - that the ghost of the person returns to haunt the family until he or she is properly laid to rest. Families in southern Vietnam risk haunting quite often, or so I'm told: here, the body is buried just once, in a coffin, in an official resting place.

After this fascinatingly morbid conversation, we moved to my next chosen topic: war. Vy related history that I was shamefully unaware of - who knew that the Mongols invaded Vietnam, and Vietnam won? Vietnamese history is littered with examples of their defeat of foreign powers: the Mongols, French, Americans. It might take a while, but they do manage to kick out the invaders eventually.

In the case of the Mongols, Vy told me a story of one battle where the Vietnamese were able to fight them off. The Mongols had many horses, which were fast, easy to control, and good for battle, but didn't swim well. The Vietnamese had buffalo used for farming, which were...none of those things, except they could swim. Oh, and these buffalo could only be controlled by small children, who used them for farming with their families.

The Vietnamese army added spears to the buffalo, and had the buffalo (with their child masters) chase the horses and the riding army into a swamp, where their horses were slow; the Vietnamese army quickly overtook the larger, more powerful Mongol army and won the battle. Defeating them took awhile longer, but with the help of smart tactics like these, it was finally possible.

Anyway, after arriving in Ninh Binh, we were shuttled to various different tourist activities, with a lot of other tourists. We visited the ancient capital ("meh"), the Mua Cave lookout (amazing), and took a few boat tours as well. The Trang An spot was the filming location for the latest King Kong movie, and I recognized it! At the time I definitely thought the scenery was purely a result of CGI, but now I know that Vietnam defies all my expectations.

 I've put pictures of most of these below, but I will mention that Mua Cave seemed to be the hot spot for wedding photography. We saw at least 3-4 sets of newlyweds posing over the view of the river, and 2 more brides huffing up the many stairs in full blown wedding attire, desperately (and unsuccessfully) trying to keep from sweating through their makeup.

Below: Mua Caves feat. bridal photo shoot

Below: Trang An and Tam Coc feat. foot rowing

Overnight we stayed in a bungalow which was cozy for exactly 3 hours - the amount of time we were there before the karaoke started. After 9pm, karaoke blared through the complex until the wee hours of the morning; thankfully my ear plugs kept most of it out, but my glaring at the culprits the next morning was not successful in eliciting the least show of remorse.

The final interesting tidbit I learned from Vy is a common saying, and is the title of this post: "Rice is wife, noodle is mistress." This saying refers to the fact that you eat rice every day, and it gets boring, whereas noodles (and mistresses) are consumed less frequently and are thus more exciting. Committing adultery is therefore known as "eating pho outside." This led to an interesting conversation about adultery in Vietnam and all over the world (apparently, many Vietnamese men do not believe that illicit massage parlors "count"), and Google uncovered horrifying facts (did you know in the US, 45% of women and 60% of men admit to cheating?). That conversation led to an uneasy sleep, but the views of Trang An quieted my fears in the morning.

2. Phu Quoc

The next weekend, I headed off to the resort island of Phu Quoc for some preemptive R&R as I come into a busy season at work. I splurged and booked a bungalow on the beach - and it was, quite literally, on the beach. Waking up to the waves is an experience I'll never forget.

This particular weekend deserves a lot less space in this post, mainly because a) I'm lazy, and b) I spent most of my time lazing around on the beach. While the beach itself was quite nice, the ocean was unfortunately littered with trash; every time I entered the water, I'd exit with plastic bags, water bottles, empty rice sacks. While I am of course educated about the growing problem with plastic and the dreadful practice of dumping bargefuls of litter into the ocean, this firsthand experience was nonetheless horrifying. I could argue that the sheer numbers of fat Russian men in Speedos on the beach was equally horrifying, but I would never trivialize such a significant global issue.

Aside from my beach bum time (which incidentally resulted in a great blistering burn later that week), I managed to get out to the night market Saturday night. I bought too many pearls and too much food, including my first-ever sea urchin (surprisingly tasty!). I also managed to make it to the "longest ever" cable car ride, which connected Phu Quoc to several smaller neighboring islands. As this was the third "longest ever" cable car ride I've been on, I'm a bit skeptical of the claim, but we'll let it stand for now.

3. Thanksgiving

This past weekend was my makeup Thanksgiving weekend. As I'm on the Vietnam holiday schedule now, I worked the whole week, but made up for it with a visit from my cousin and a splendid potluck dinner with coworker friends on the weekend.

My cousin Austin!

The potluck dinner was a new concept for most people, apparently, as after I sent out the invitation, a few invitees mentioned they were excited to taste the potluck! This led to a hasty explanation, and (in my ever-organized way) a signup spreadsheet which was universally ignored. The day before the potluck, the early 20's crowd informed me they were bringing dishes like pizza and beer, while the older crowd brought cheesecake and homemade dumplings. I made a mental note to invite more adults to future potlucks, and began cooking whatever Thanksgiving food I could muster sans oven.

Thankfully,  I made Austin schlep a few bags of stuffing mix all the way from Boston, so that combined with garlic mashed potatoes and an entire bag of rice (did I overdo it?) finished off the feast. Everything was delicious, and I reached new heights of adventure: I tried duck eggs! These are no ordinary duck eggs, however: these eggs are incubated for a period of time, then boiled - so you're eating a developing duck.

This concept did not sit well with my mind or my stomach, but I braved it anyway, and found that the egg did not actually taste half bad. That didn't stop me from gagging every time I thought about what I methodically chewed, but it certainly helped.

Below: Thanksgiving, the feast, the infamous duck egg, waaaaaay too much rice

After the dinner, a subset of the group went for karaoke nearby. Asian karaoke is set up a bit differently than American: rather than 1 big room with strangers judging you as you sing a nasally Beyonce, you reserve a smaller room with your friends, and belt your heart out in relative safety. Favorites for this night included Taylor Swift, Maroon 5, and a bunch of Vietnamese and Chinese songs I didn't know, but still managed to hum for the next 3 days. I snapped a few pictures during the fun, but I'll save the videos for future blackmail material.

Below: Typical karaoke room

Overall, it was a lovely Thanksgiving, full laughter, friends, and fun - I missed my family, but for this year, my Ben Cat family was an excellent substitute :)